How to bless your spouse!

Susan and I are celebrating 28 years of marriage today!

It doesn’t seem possible and it hasn’t always been easy. We’ve had our fair share of struggles but it has been more than worth it. I’m convinced that a vital element of our longevity, and any long-term marriage, is being each others best friends.

We haven’t gotten it all figured out but we are continuing to work at it. Every marriage has room to grow in this area of friendship so I’m passing along three suggestions I recently came across.

1. Make a list of what you would want in a best friend. Perhaps your list would look something like this:

Prospective candidates for best friend will:

  • Make me feel good about being me.
  • Affirm my best qualities (especially when I am feeling insecure)
  • Call out the best in me, and hold me accountable to the best version of myself.
  • Listen without judging or trying to fix me.
  • Give me the benefit of the doubt.
  • Extend grace to me when I am grumpy or having a bad day.
  • Remember my birthday, favorite foods, music, and art.
  • Know my story and love me regardless.
  • Spend time with me, just because they enjoy my company.
  • Speak well of me when I am not present.
  • Serve me with a joyful spirit and without complaining.
  • Speak the truth to me when no one else will.
  • Never shame me, diminish me, or make me feel small.
  • Become excited about what I am excited about.
  • Celebrate my wins!

2. Commit to becoming that person for your spouse. That’s right! Turn the table. Don’t be preoccupied with getting but follow Jesus’ example of giving and love as He loved us (John 15:12). When a couple focuses on getting what they want first then both go away disappointed. But when they give themselves to loving the other person first, they both go away content.

3. Keep at it! It won’t always be easy but with God’s help it will always be possible. Let God use your marriage as a living testimony of His grace and love in action!

And one more thing! Pass this along to your married friends who could use the encouragement!


Filed under Friendship, Loving others, Marriage

4 responses to “How to bless your spouse!

  1. Sandy Campbell

    Congradulations!!! I agree it is hard work and not always easy but it is very rewarding and worth it when you look back at all we go through and make it together. You are great people and I am blessed to have you both in my life.
    Blessings and love

  2. IvaluTheWord

    Great article Rick! Bless you twos’ hearts! 🙂 You two are to be commended for 28yrs! ♥
    In this day and age with so many divorces and the attitude going into marriage as ..”well, if it doesn’t work I’ll just get a divorce”…ugh. Seems it has lost it’s savour and sacredness.
    All of your points are fantastic ideally, I must say. Indeed, a key is found in #2- regarding loving our spouse as Christ loves the church…His bride; and to serve one another, rather than oneself first. So many lose the key to this wonderous blessing.
    Keep up the good work you two! And God Bless! ~ Always in His Word – Because He is in my heart! ~

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