Approval addiction

“Hello. My name is Rick Alvey and I am an approval addict.”

I don’t know exactly when it started or what all has contributed to it, but I admit it. I struggle with wanting the approval of others.

I know and believe that I will one day stand before God and give Him – and only Him – an account of my life. And yet, I still struggle with being concerned about how others perceive me.

The truth is, no matter what we say or do there will be someone who disapproves. Even Jesus, who lived a perfect life, was constantly criticized for what He said and did; and for the kinds of people who were drawn to Him.

But being concerned about how others view us is not all bad. We are to live in such a way that others see God in us and are drawn towards Him. So to a certain degree it does matter.

But if it matters too much then I find myself inhibited. I might know what I believe God would have me to say or do but I hesitate because of who it might offend. I’m guessing that at least some of you reading this can relate.

And this is especially tough as a pastor because people have heightened and/or unrealistic expectations of me, and my family. I read a story recently that was a great encouragement.

“A reporter once asked an insightful question when interviewing a woman from the Boston Philharmonic Orchestra:’ How does it feel to get a standing ovation from the crowd at the end of your performance and then wake up in the morning to a negative review in the newspaper?’

Her response was even more insightful. She said over time she has learned not to pay attention to the applause of the crowd or the disapproval of the critics. She was only after the approval of her conductor. After all, he was the only person who really knew how she was supposed to perform.”
~ From Replenish by Lance Witt

God is our conductor. Only He knows precisely the role that we are to play in His unfolding story of grace and redemption. He alone has a completely eternal perspective on life down here.

May God grant us the grace to seek only His approval.
© Richard Alvey and iLife Journey, 2012. All rights reserved.



Filed under Authenticity, Children of God, Christianity, Glory of God, God, Loving God, Relationship with God, Trusting God

12 responses to “Approval addiction

  1. Rick,

    God approves you because of Christ.
    the Judge approves of Christ finish work.
    you are clothe with Christ. Christ is your substitute.
    you will never represent yourself before God, but Christ represents you.

    let us not judge our standing based on our doing
    – have I done right to be approved? no way.

    rather let us judge our action base on our standing
    – am I the righteousness of God? yes!

    rick, you are approved before God!


    – grace and peace

  2. “Approval Addict” or “People Pleaser” it is a hard club from which to resign one’s membership! Join the club!

  3. Beautifully said! Silly as it may seem, at one point I had to literally take a measuring stick & break it into pieces as a reminder NOT to measure myself against worldly standards

  4. Darla Randall

    Hello, my name is Darla Randall and I am an approval addict, also.

    thank you so much for your blogs, Brother Rick! God speaks through you!

  5. “God is our conductor.” What a great picture for those of us who struggle with our need for approval. Thanks! Judy

  6. Great post!! I just wrote on something similar a few days ago. You may like to check it out; Thanks again. Namaste. ~ TW

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